Of the 93% non-verbal communication:

   38% is through vocal tones
   55% is through facial expressions

   We are educated to prefer words to
      communicate. Therefore, we can overlook
      non-verbal signals.

   Foot movements, voice variations,
      facial expressions are all forms of non-verbal
      communications that individuals send to each
      other.  We may not verbally call someone
      stupid/dumb, but we may send the mess age
      non-verbally without realizing it.

   Body language is the oldest language.   Often
      there is a discrepancy between someone's
      words and their physical actions.  Confusion
      often occurs regarding what is heard or the
      message seems to be mixed.  Usually in
      these instances, the verbal and non-verbal
      messages are in conflict.

   When in doubt experts say to trust the
      non-verbal message (what you see).

   Words can be manipulated, but gestures are
      harder to control.

 Silent Approval:  Indicators / Signs

   Discovered by Dr. Albert E. Scheflen. who
      noticed the phenomenon while studying
      people conversing in small groups.

   Observe the way people sit or stand while
      talking with others.  It has been noticed that
      when people in a group or gathering agree
      with one person.

   If the person shifts position, the others are
      likely to quickly to do the same.

   Experiment:

Next time your speaking, try to
notice who among your listeners is
sitting or standing in the same
position as you are.

Then try changing your position
(i.e. crossing your leg,
folding / unfolding your arms...)

Those who match your body
positioning, are silently signaling
their approval or agreeement.

More vigorous approvals include
nods and pursing of lips.

Body Language of Leaders

   Studies have shown that people in power
      appear large, strong with relaxed posture

   Superiority is signaled by:

   Sitting while others stand
   Lean back in their chairs
   Expansive gesturing
   Talking more, in louder voices
   Interrupt others

   People see you.....not your credentials

   Non-verbal signals can give you a head start.

   Good posture identifies you as
      someone with something to say.
   Stand tall, flex knees and pull rib cage
      up.
   Look directly at person / people you
      address (no matter how many).

   It is the most remembered element in forming
      an impression.

   But do not stare  - - -  5 to 7 seconds
      maximum.
       (Various cultures differ)

   Make sure to focus on the eyes and not stare
      at the mouth or off to side.

Body Language

   Studies have shown that people generally
      stiffen / "freeze up" when lying.  The person
      who barely moves while speaking should
      be suspect.

   Defensive and rejection postures include:

   folded arms
   crossed legs
   body turned away from speaker

Height

   A basic tenet of the psychology of perception
      is that size is associated with power.

   Whatever the mind judges as important, eye
      will judge as large.

   Therefore anyone who looms large in the mind
      is liable to be perceived large in your eyes.

   Psychologist find that height can have impact
      on interaction.

   Smaller people may have a feeling of jeopardy
      which may make them wary of or defensive
      around taller people.

   A study by Sidney Portney, psychologist,
      found that among themselves smaller
      probably had little trouble agreeing on the
      issues presented to them. But when taller
      men were added to their group, they grew
      noticeably ill at ease and argumentative.

   Tall women, on the other hand, are caught
      in a gap in American values.

   On one hand, femininity has
      traditionally been associated with
      daintiness.  On the other hand,
      the culture says bigger is better.

   Tall women quickly discover that
      smaller individuals of both sexes
      assume they are strong.

   In business, this perception of "power"
      (from being tall) can be a doubled-
      edged sword.

   Subordinates will respect their "power,"
      while superiors may feel threatened.

   Clients may be intimidated and/or
      overwhelmed and therefore may back
      away.

Eyes

   You are always communicating, and
      non-verbal communications is always revealed
      in the eyes.

   Eyes, it appears, are always "talking" and
      providing valuable clues.

   Normal eye contact means
      communication is open.

   Looking down, often rejection.

   Avoiding eye contact suggest
      someone does not feel secure or
      included.

   A stare can mean dislike

   ** Keep in mind cultural differences

Eye Movements

   Research has shown that eye movement can
      indicate a lot about the person talking.

   Person may be sincere if:

   Eyes move upward
   stories about the past

   Eyes move side to side
   observations about the present.

   But, if:

   Eyes constantly move upward when
      talking about present
   delivering a prepared, memorized
      speech

   Eyes move from side to side when
      talking about past or recalling facts
      and information.
   likely to be liar or con-artis

   Eyes never move upward to retrieve
     information

   likely to be making it up.

Hands

   Since few movements of the hands, fingers
      and arms are directly related to what is
      going on the the mind, it can reveal what
      another person is thinking.  Scientists
      observed that there are more nerves between
      the brain and hands than any other portion of
      the body.

   Calm, confident and self-assured:
      Hands move little or may hang limply
     at person's side or rest gently if
      sitting.
          -  or  -
   Limp or hanging hand could signify a
      boredom, restlessness or tiredness.
      Depending on situation, it can also
      indicate frustration/digest.

   Picking or biting is common in tense
      situations.

   Hand held flat with palm outward
      or usually symbolizes "I do not
      know..."

   Hands that are quite active: person is
      usually jittery, nervous or uneasy.

   Clenched hands often mean tension
      and frustration, even anger.

   If a person is about to say something or
      wants to say something... there is a tendency
      to raise a finger slightly.

   Shy or timid individuals may not get
      past this stage. Pushy/ aggressive
      people often preceive this as a sign
      of weakness that they can push aside
      or go around.

   A raised or slightly raised finger, usually used
      by those to authority, is used a a sign
      of warning.

   When this is not forceful and the finger/hand
      is only slightly raised usually indicates
      uncertainity.

Women

   The challenge of being taken seriously...the
      body language learned growing up is often
      "apologetic."  This will not lend to being taken
      seriously and moving into leadership positions.

   In business, women must appear assertive:

   Stand akimbo (legs positioned a bit
      apart) with hands on hips.
   In workplace, keep hands on arm rest
      of chair, not on lap.
   Cross legs (relaxed), not tense and
      "glued" together.
   Use expansive gesturing, from elbow.
   Do not back away if challenged.
      Maintain eye contact and "hold"
      ground.
   Be careful of moves that may be
      received as preening or provocative:
   brushing hair back
   nervous movement, such as
      repetitive crossing and uncrossing
      of legs

Silent Approval  |  Body Language of Leaders
Body Language  |  Eye Movements
 Height  |   Eyes  |   Hands  |  Women

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